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Jan 2
Who Will Win the Iowa Caucuses? Republican Picks and Pans

Prediction #1: Mike Huckabee will create an uproar in the race by winning the Iowa Caucuses. He is too conservative to win the general election... too religious to attract the moderates he will need to win. But he will knock Romney on his rich, smug butt.

Prediction #2: Mitt Romney will have spent a gazillion dollars on a second place finish. If he gains the nomination eventually, he will be shredded to pieces because of his unbelievable flip-flops on issues like abortion and gay marriage.

Prediction #3: John McCain, the oldest man to ever run for president, will come in third, but look out, he is poised to win or place second in New Hampshire. McCain's fatal mistake was to abandon Iowa too early, despite the generous endorsement of the Des Moines Register.

Prediction #4: Fred Thompson will finish fourth, drop out right after South Carolina, and immediately start lobbying for large, evil corporations.

Prediction #5: The rest of the republican field, irrelevant as they have always been, will fade into oblivion.


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