« Idaho Senator Craig Resigns From Romney Campaign | Main | Top Ten Things Overheard in the Senate Republican Caucus »

Aug28
The Problem With Conservatives

Senator_craig_2 Senator_vitter Mark_foley What do all of these unfortunate republicans have in common? They were each caught satisfying a private and unspeakable urge, for which they were publicly villified. All of them are so-called conservatives. But the problem with people who tell you they are conservative is...they have a total disconnect between their own lives and the lives that other people lead.

Conservatives truly believe they can legislate morality, while living with complete impugnity in their own personal lives. Truth be told, the statistics reveal the truth. Just as many conservatives as liberals get abortions. Same with spousal abuse. Same with pedophilia. Same with divorce. Same with being gay. It doesn't matter how many flags are flying in the background either.

The problem with conservatives is...when they fall, they fall hard. They've built themselves a giant glass house, but they've landscaped with big ol' throwin'-type rocks. They denounce entire groups of people, in public and in private, yet, they deal with the same issues.

So welcome to the club, Senator Craig. You may not be gay, but that doesn't stop you from having a kinky sex fetish. I recommend the book Tearoom Trade by renowned sociologist Laud Humphreys. It is a thorough account of an entire year's worth of research into the question, "Who has sex with who in public restrooms?" (known in the homosexual community as "tea rooms") I read the book in college and it is fascinating. A real page-turner.

I'll cut to the chase for you. Most men who frequented the Tea Rooms in Humphrey's study were self-proclaimed "married, heterosexual males."


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